by Judy Handley | Sep 20, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 40: Mark’s Family Arrived
Date: Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Weather: Rain Early, Then Clearing; High 81 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Studio #8, Falmouth, MA
Too late and too tired. So this will be very short. Mark’s sister, brother-in-law, and brother arrived today. I drove to Boston to pick them up and did a little shopping at Costco on my way up. I also met with the caterer before leaving the Cape, so I think we are all set for Thursday. We have a charter boat and a destination, a person to lead us through our little ceremony, good friends and families that are going to attend, and a caterer to feed us at Heather and Jed’s afterwards. There are more details to attend to tomorrow, but at least I will have Mary Ellen, Mark’s sister, her husband Lee, and Mark’s brother Steve to help me. Heather, Jed, Justin, and Jo will get things ready at Heather’s house and it looks like the weather is going to cooperate. So things are looking good. Now to bed.
by Judy Handley | Sep 18, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 37: Finalizing Plans for Mark’s Memorial
Date: Sunday, September 18, 2016
Weather: Mostly Cloudy, High 80 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Studio #8, Falmouth, MA
This is going to be another short log. Basically I spent a great deal of today planning for Mark’s memorial service on Thursday. Family and friends will be going out on a charter boat (not a sailboat) to a favorite family location in Vineyard Sound. We will then go to Heather’s for food and drink. It will be simple, but I am so glad that we are going to be able to take some of his ashes to a favorite place to send them out to sea. And more importantly, we will be on a boat. That’s the important part.
Heather, Jed, and boys came over for dinner tonight. I have never been the one to do the grilling in this family, but for the second time this week, I found myself at the grill to fix dinner tonight. Grilling was always Mark’s job. But I am learning, ever so slowly, to do this. Other things that were never “my job” were dealing with mail, bills, and electronics. The mail and bills are pretty straight forward except that bills are done electronically. So Heather and Justin are trying to spend some time with me bringing me up to speed. There was a time in my life when I was fiercely independent and could not imagine that I would ever need this kind of help. But children came along and we were so busy that we had to divide jobs. Once that was done, it stayed that way until now. Thankfully I have children who can help me with this transition.
by Judy Handley | Sep 17, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 36: Soccer, Beach, and Planning
Date: Saturday, September 17, 2016
Weather: Partly Cloudy, High 75 degrees F—Beach Perfect
Location: At Home in The Studio #8, Falmouth, MA
Today was all about soccer, a walk to the beach with grandkids, and planning for Mark’s memorial service. The weather was beautiful and we all enjoyed watching Ollie and Jonah play soccer. Sam’s game was about an hour north and west of here in the afternoon, so we sent Jed and Sam on their way alone for that one. Jonah, Ziggy, Ollie, and Coco just wanted to play. But after a bit they got restless, so I walked with them down to the beach. We didn’t get in the water, but just relaxed in the glorious September sunshine. Falmouth Heights Beach has a concrete sea wall that is about five feet high. The Fab 5 minus 1 decided that running along the wall and jumping off was a fun activity and thankfully no one got hurt. But Coco did something I have never seen anyone do at that beach. Heather had come to make a drinking water delivery and we were standing on top of the wall. Somehow Coco scaled the wall and climbed up on top while wearing her little lace dress. She certainly shocked both of us. We think she must be part monkey.
We are still deciding exactly what we want to do for Mark memorial service. We know it will be on Thursday afternoon, and we are hoping it will involve a boat ride out to sea to scatter ashes. But beyond that, we just aren’t sure. I don’t think any of us are thinking clearly, but I’m confident that we’ll pull this together.
by Judy Handley | Sep 16, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 35: Full Moon Bonfire
Date: Friday, September 16, 2016
Weather: Beautiful Cape Cod Fall Day
Location: At Home in The Studio #8, Falmouth, MA
It was a good day. Ollie couldn’t go to school since he had a fever yesterday and the school rule is to not send a child who has had a fever within the past 24 hours. So Heather dropped him here on her way to work this morning. Ollie was not totally recovered, but he was certainly feeling good enough to go with Coco, Ziggy, and Jo to the Heritage Museums and Gardens to play the day away in a beautiful setting. Since Jo had Heather and Jed’s van and Jed had a medical appointment and was not going to Woods Hole first thing this morning, Heather needed a ride to work. I took her to work and when I got back, Jo was ready to leave with the little ones. Then Justin did a bit of work and I did a bit of straightening before we both took off on separate ventures. Justin walked down the street to the Bank of America to set up some business accounts. I did some much needed shopping, went to the funeral home to pick up death certificates that are needed by Social Security, the bank, etc., stopped by the bank to deal with opening and closing various accounts, and by the time I was finished, it was time to go back to Woods Hole to pick Heather up and take her home so she could pick Sam and Jonah up from school. I then spent the rest of my afternoon seeking out possible venues for our seaside memorial event for Mark. I have some possibilities, but there are just not enough hours in the day to do all that needs to get done. But we switched gears for the evening and will start again tomorrow.
We had dinner at Heather and Jed’s again tonight. Heather and Jo had talked about having a bonfire, so I fixed dinner at Heather’s so we could then move to the backyard for the bonfire. Jed had prepared the fire before dinner, so we moved from the dinner table to the backyard and really enjoyed the fire. And what’s a good bonfire without making s’mores? So, of course, we did that. Justin played his new guitar, Ollie played Jonah’s ukulele, a neighborhood friend brought over a bottle of champagne to share, and we just generally enjoyed the beautiful full moon evening.
Tomorrow is ‘Soccer Saturday’, so I’ll start my morning by walking to the soccer field to watch Ollie’s first soccer practice. He has a 10 o’clock practice, Jonah as a 12 noon game, and Sam and Jed head to Fall River for a game in the afternoon. Hopefully, in between all these activities, all of us will have some time to just kick back and relax this weekend. I think we all need that.
by Judy Handley | Sep 15, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 34: Scrub Brush in the Toilet
Date: Thursday, September 15, 2016
Weather: Sunny Day, Chilly Tonight; Low ~50 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Studio #8, Falmouth, MA
We are all still struggling terribly with Mark’s death, but I know this is going to go on for years. But mix that with a virus that is circulating from one to another, and you have a stressed out bunch of people. Heather is returning to work tomorrow after a few days off, but she thought she would spend her last day off cleaning her house in anticipation of a few guests that are arriving for next week’s memorial service for Mark. She did great until she dumped a soapy bucket of water into the toilet. Her problem was that she had left a big scrub brush in that water, and as soon as she dumped it she realized her mistake. But by this time the toilet was full of water and flushed on its own . . . taking the scrub brush down with it. I think there is no need to outline what came next. Or, then again, maybe there is. An actual full-sized scrub brush went right down with no way to retrieve it. Heather could reach far enough into the toilet to tell that it was actually still there, but she couldn’t grab it. So with the help of the Melissa from next door, they removed the toilet and carried it to the front yard. There she could turn it upside down and get the brush out. So much for her day!
Ziggy, Coco, and I toured the Woods Hole this morning. We went to see the 11 am seal show and then toured the Aquarium. From there we went to the WHOI Exhibit Center and then across the street to pick up Ollie. We got back to my apartment and then he just faded. He said he was cold and just had to get under the covers in my bed. He went right to sleep which should have been my notice, but it wasn’t until I left to go to the Farmer’s Market and take things to Heather’s for dinner that Jo called and said his temp was 102. I came to pick him up and after getting home and getting a dose of child ibuprofen, he rebounded quickly. Hopefully whatever he has passes quickly.
Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully there will be no toilet incidents and no more fevers. A nice quiet day with no drama would be great.
by Judy Handley | Sep 14, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 33: Happy Birthday to Justin
Date: Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Weather: Still Clear and Windy; High 79 degrees F (feels cooler)
Location: At Home in The Studio #8, Falmouth, MA
Happy birthday to my baby boy. Well, he’s not really a baby or a boy anymore, but in a mother’s eyes he will be that always. It has been so wonderful to have him and Jo here with me this week. I think this place would have seemed just too lonely without them. They have decided to extend their stay for another week so that we can have a memorial service for Mark next Thursday when his ashes are returned. We had not planned on doing this, but Heather and Justin feel the need for some sort of closure, especially for the little ones. Our original thought was to have nothing at this time and do something with extended family next summer when it is more convenient for everyone with children to travel. But there was some rethinking and decision that all of us will feel better once some of those ashes are floating out to sea. In addition, New Hampshire Public Radio is going to host a gathering of friends, family, and public radio colleagues sometime in the coming weeks. This will be in Concord, New Hampshire, so all of our Concord Yacht Club friends can attend, as well as our other good friends from the fifteen years we lived there. So the man who wanted no service because he didn’t want to inconvenience people by making them feel like they have to attend something is not quite getting his way. I have made Mark’s wishes clear to family, so I’m not sure how many people will be coming in from out of town. But we will celebrate his life with good friends and family that can attend and put Granddad to rest in the eyes of the grandchildren.
I slept in this morning while Jo baked a birthday cake for Justin and fixed a fantastic breakfast of Huevos Rancheros—eggs and beans with red sauce. Justin just calls them cowboy eggs, but whatever, the breakfast was delicious. Thank you, Jo. Heather and Ollie joined us for breakfast, but I think it was almost noon by the time we ate. Heather left to go have lunch with Jonah and Sam and then take them out of school early to go for a walk in the woods. Justin, Jo, Ziggy, and Coco headed to Hyannis for an afternoon of shopping. I sent Justin with the instructions to find himself a new acoustic guitar for his birthday. He obeyed and he has a beautiful new curly maple guitar.
Tomorrow is do-nothing day. Can’t wait.
