by Judy Handley | Jun 6, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 157: But on the other hand …
Date: Saturday, June 6, 2026
Weather: Partly Sunny and Warm; High Temp 77, Low 60 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
Decisions. Once again, I sound like Tevye in ‘Fiddler on the Roof’. He is forever hashing over a decision, giving equal time to both sides. We could do this, but then on the other hand, we could that. I mentioned the fact that I am having to make many decisions right now, almost to the point of letting it paralyze me mentally. For me, living alone and not having a partner to talk with when making decisions just leaves those decisions constantly rotating around in my head. And that can lead to mental paralysis. No decision at all.
I am planning an end of the year Encore reception for 70 members at the Museums on the Green on June 17. Our programs this year have focused on Falmouth history, so for this final event we will continue to focus on history, celebrating the 250th birthday of this country. I named it the ‘red, white & blue’ reception, and since it is a birthday celebration, of course we have to have a birthday cake. But what kind, what kind of icing, what kind of filling between layers, and how do I want it decorated? I am deciding what kind of wine to buy and how many bottles, what kind of prosecco to buy for an initial toast and how many bottles, what food to order and how much, how do we arrange things in case of rain? And the list of decisions goes on. This afternoon I literally had to go over to see if one of the Goldstones could help me decide on what kind of cake. And thankfully, Heather and Jonah were home and helped make that decision. I went directly to Windfall Market and made that order. One decision made.
Then there are all of the decisions dealing with moving my sister. That list is too long to list here. I did write an email to family last night to ask for suggestions, and I did hear from a couple of people. But this move is really on me. I am not moving most of her furniture here because she is downsizing to a small studio apartment with only one small closet for her clothes from a one bedroom with two big closets. Her queen size bed won’t fit in the new apartment and neither will her double recliners with a little storage unit connecting them. All I know at this point is that I can take possession of the studio apartment on June 15 and begin furnishing it and I will get Patsy here sometime between then and the end of the month. It could be sooner rather than later, so I don’t have time to order furniture. And this is where today’s trip to New Bedford and North Dartmouth comes in. Jonah had to be at New Bedford High School, about 45 minutes from here, at 7:45 am to take the SAT. I offered to take him, and then Heather pointed out that there are a number of furniture stores in North Darthmouth. I could do two things at once. So, while Jonah was taking the test, I shopped. I went to Ashley Furniture, Bob’s Discount Furniture, and Laz-Y Boy. What I found out is that none of them had a recliner in stock that fits our needs and ordering is a 6 to 8 week affair. That helped make one decision. I knew that as soon as Jonah and I got back home, I should go to the furniture store on Main Street and buy the recliner I found there yesterday. But then I debated that with myself. I haven’t signed the paperwork committing to Bridges yet and we haven’t figured out a way to get Patsy from there to here. What if I buy the recliner today and then the move doesn’t happen? I decided to go to Barbo’s, the Falmouth furniture store, to see if I can get my money back if the move doesn’t happen. The answer is yes, so another decision was made. The Best Home Furnishings Sedgefield Leather Power Space Saver Recliner will be delivered to Bridges on June 16. Just now as I was writing about this, I searched online for the recliner I bought and found the description. “The sleek and uncomplicated Sedgefield is the perfect size for someone with a smaller frame. Not too big and not too small, Goldilocks would say this recliner is ‘just right’. This petite recline still offers all the comfort and support you want.” Let’s hope it lives up to the description.
This evening, I forgot about all of this and went to see Ollie’s last soccer game of the spring season. Jonah was one of the referees for this game, so again I got a two for one.
Afterwards Heather suggested that everyone go to Taco Blanco for a team dinner and many parents and players did come. Sam came to join us, then he and Jonah left to watch sunset at the beach with friends. And then Heather and I left Ollie with friends while we drove separate cars to Sagamore. Jed flies home from Canada tonight and will take the last bus to the Sagamore Park ‘n Ride. We left their van there for him to drive home. That way, at least Heather can get a good night’s sleep.
by Judy Handley | Jun 5, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 156: These Truths History Class and Decisions for My Sister
Date: Friday, June 5, 2026
Weather: Sunny and Warm; High Temp 79, Low 58 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
This morning I attended the next to the last class based on the book ‘These Truths—A History of the United States’ by Jill LePore. We will get to the 20th century in next week’s last class and then continue in the fall. I didn’t get to do the reading for this week, but I still find it very worthwhile to go to class to hear Jane’s lecture. I will definitely continue next fall.
The rest of my day was spent going to Bridges, the memory care facility where I plan to relocate my sister. This trip was to meet the Director of Wellness. I will return on Monday with all the paperwork filled out. But I have made the decision. Now I just have to figure out how get her here. But for today, I moved on to start the search for new furniture for her. I made a quick visit to the only furniture store in Falmouth and looked at recliners, beds, and chairs. I learned a very important point. With most recliners the back goes down as the feet go up. I need one where the feet go up and back stays upright. Glad I didn’t decide to order something online without trying it out first! There were many other decisions to be made this afternoon and many phone calls, but I am putting that aside for now and heading to bed early.
by Judy Handley | Jun 4, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 155: Getting a Case of ‘Cold Feet’
Date: Thursday, June 4, 2026
Weather: Sunny and Warm; High Temp 72, Low 56 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
Today I had an Indivisible Falmouth meeting and a reception at the Museums on the Green. But for the most part, I did what I seem to be doing every day which is dealing with issues related to my sister. The biggest issue that happened today was that her assessment evaluation happened a day early. This had a number of people confused, and they were all contacting me to ask why this happened. Obviously, not all communications setting up this assessment were read by everyone, but in the end, even though the team at Bridges only got to see her for about 30 seconds, they approved her admittance to Bridges. And that threw me into an instant case of ‘cold feet’. What if I can’t do all of the things needed in time for the move? What if I can’t get new furniture delivered on time? What if I can’t get her on the airplane? What if she hates it here? What if the medical team can’t deal with her issues? This last question stopped me in my tracks because I realized that I really didn’t meet the medical team at Bridges on Monday. I called immediately to tell them that I cannot sign the admittance paperwork until I do meet the team. But what if someone else takes the only room available while I am dragging my feet on signing the papers? This is a huge decision I am making for my sister, so I am having that psychological bout of anxiety people get before making a big commitment. Unfortunately, the woman I have been working with at Bridges is attending her son’s graduation tomorrow and the woman in charge of health is off doing assessments tomorrow and Monday. I will find out in the morning if there is a time tomorrow I can meet her before or after her off campus assessment. If not, everything will just have to remain on hold until next week.
At the very end of the day, I decided to put all of this out of my mind and go watch Ollie’s soccer game. That was a good decision because I could focus on the game and forget about the decisions to be made. I’ll get back to that in the morning.
by Judy Handley | Jun 3, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 154: Last Lawrence School Concert for a Goldstone
Date: Wednesday, June 3, 2026
Weather: Sunny and Warm; High Temp 78, Low 56 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
Tonight was Ollie’s Lawrence School (grades 7 and 8) spring concert, and it was the last Lawrence School concert for a Goldstone. Sam, then Jonah, and now Ollie have attended Lawrence School and played in the concert and jazz band. Next year Jonah will be a senior and Ollie a freshman at Falmouth High School. It is always impossible to get photos of Ollie playing the saxophone in the concert band, but tonight he was third from the end of a row, so while they were warming up, I moved up front so I could actually get a photo of Ollie. Then I went back and had Heather come up so she could video Ollie playing and send it to Jed who is still in Canada. And then afterwards, I got a photo of Heather and Ollie. Tonight was milestone and I wanted to document it.
I spent the rest of my day meeting with the caterer for another milestone—my last event that I will be organizing for Encore. That takes place on June 17 and at that point, I will have completed my duties as Co-President, then Past President, and Program VP. It has been a wonderful experience, but I am looking forward to capturing a bit of my life back. And after my appointment with the caterer, I spent more time dealing with details of moving my sister here. And after that, I went outside to play with Shadow while enjoying the warm weather. I even got motivated to do a deep spring cleaning of the inside of my car. I needed to get outside and do something to keep from being totally overwhelmed with the details of figuring out exactly how I am going to get my sister here from North Carolina. She is not going to want to fly, but after checking train schedules and the cost of a private jet, I think flying on a commercial flight is the only way. I’ll work more on that tomorrow.
by Judy Handley | Jun 2, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 153: Heather Named Select Board Chair
Date: Tuesday, June 2, 2026
Weather: Mostly Sunny, Chilly AM; High Temp 69, Low 50 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
The Early Edition of The Falmouth Enterprise came online today (see article below). At last night’s Select Board meeting, Heather was nominated and elected chair by the other four members of the Board. A Select Board Chair is not the same as a mayor, but they both hold the top leadership roles in their communities. Select Boards act collectively as the executive arm in their communities and the Chair runs the meetings and signs documents and probably gets thousands of complaints and the ‘opportunity’ to address those issues. However, the Chair, along with the Vice Chair, set the meeting agendas, and that is a type of power. Falmouth’s Select Board hires a Town Manager and an Assistant Town Manager to deal with the day-to-day issues, but still, as I have observed in Heather’s two years on the Board, it is almost like a second job as it is huge time commitment. As Heather’s very proud mother, I wish her the best in this new venture as Chair.
THE ENTERPRISE Falmouth
Goldstone Named Chairwoman; Reed Vice Chairman
By LIN LIN HUTCHINSON
The Select Board held its first meeting following the Annual Town Election this week and unanimously selected Heather M.H. Goldstone as its new chairwoman.
Goldstone was nominated by board member Colin W. Reed, with the nomination seconded by outgoing chairman Robert P. Mascali. Douglas C. Brown expressed interest in serving as chairman but did not receive a nomination from fellow board members.
In accepting the nomination, Goldstone reflected on her reasons for seeking elected office and the challenges facing the town.
“I ran for office because I saw our town had major issues that we needed to be confronting,” Goldstone said.
She noted that board members identified similar motivations during the town’s strategic planning process and pointed to the board’s achievements.
“We have made a lot of progress in my time on the board in surfacing some issues that are a bit overdue and starting to develop action plans,” she said, citing long-term finances, coastal resilience and housing among the topics receiving the most attention.
Looking ahead, Goldstone said the board will need to work closely with town management to address competing priorities.
“I think we are at a point where we really need to step up and level up how this board is working together as a team,” she said.
Goldstone also highlighted her experience as a facilitator.
“I am a trained and certified facilitative leader,” she said. “That means I’ve spent a bunch of time gaining a skillset to help groups coalesce around a shared vision and work strategically to achieve that.”
Paraphrasing advice she recently received from state Representative David Vieira (R-3rd Barnstable), Goldstone said, “Elections are a competition; governing is a team sport.” She said it is important to recognize that board members bring different strengths and represent different constituencies and life experiences.
by Judy Handley | Jun 1, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 152: A Little Joy on June 1
Date: Monday, June 1, 2026
Weather: Mostly Sunny, Chilly AM; High Temp 60, Low 43 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
I am taking a huge chance announcing joy on June 1 because the reason for my joy today is not really a done deal. But joy is the only way I can describe how I felt after a two-and-a-half-hour visit at a memory care facility today—not something I ever expected to feel in that setting. If you have been following these logs, you know I am searching for a place that better fits my sister Patsy’s needs as her memory issues worsen. I thought I had found it at Heritage here in Falmouth. The disappointment I felt on Friday when they told me that they could not take her was replaced by joy today when I visited a place that is memory care only. After meeting my sister on FaceTime, Heritage recommended Bridges by Epoch for Patsy. So, I spent my entire day touring and learning about this place.
The goal of Bridges is not just to care for people with memory issues, but to bring some joy back into their lives. The building was designed for people with dementia, down to every little detail. One example is that the wall behind the toilet in each bathroom is painted a dark color so that it is hard to miss the white toilet! I don’t know who thinks of things like this, but someone did a good job when designing Bridges by Epoch. And they have a room that will be available in a few days, but right now the resident is still living in it. He was involved in an activity when I arrived, so the woman giving me the tour contacted his family to get permission for me to go in and see the room. It has a beautiful view of the enclosed garden area which is lovely. By the way, the circular pathway in the garden has solar powered objects that look like rocks but that are really speakers for playing music while the residents are outside.
I still need to fill out a huge packet of forms describing Patsy’s life history and Bridges still needs to do a FaceTime interview with her. I have reserved the room until these things can be done. If all goes well, we can make the move before the end of the month. It is expensive, but not really much more than we pay now with private care. And I really felt like it is a place where Patsy could be content and maybe even feel a little joy.
