2026 Life Logs, Day 200: World Cup Final
Date: Sunday, July 19, 2026
Weather: Sunny; High Temp 81, Low 57 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
The World Cup is over, so I will have to find a new excuse to hide from reality. In the past couple of weeks, when things with my sister were just too much for me, I would watch another soccer game to escape for a couple of hours. I’ll have to find a new diversion. Congratulations, Spain!
2026 Life Logs, Day 199: No Words
Date: Saturday, July 18, 2026
Weather: Cloudy, Cooler Day, Stormy, Rainy Night; High Temp 76, Low 69 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
My blog site, handleysail.com, says I have posted 7,139 posts since the fall of 2005. That represents a whole lot of words. But tonight, I have no words. What I am going through with my sister’s situation is just too painful for me to write about. So, I am taking the night off and hope I find my voice by tomorrow night.
2026 Life Logs, Day 198: Baby Steps Back to ‘Normal’
Date: Friday, July 17, 2026
Weather: Sunny Day; High Temp 81, Low 65 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
I am not sure I would ever refer to my life as ‘normal’, but today I took the first baby steps to get back to some sense of normalcy. Since the beginning of April when my sister was hospitalized with Covid and double pneumonia, my already busy life started bordering on insanity. And it hasn’t stopped. But yesterday, I made a decision to find some way to start getting my life back. I thought I would spend the day today working in the yard today, but that didn’t happen. But, I did take a nice long walk with Shadow this morning after doing all of my back exercises, and I ate breakfast and lunch. That is something I haven’t done for weeks. I have been eating a late afternoon lunch and a very late dinner with no breakfast, or breakfast and dinner with no lunch. I also spent time outside with Shadow this afternoon, and I at least looked at my garden of weeds. I changed the settings on my phone so that it only alarms when sister’s blood sugar number is extremely high or low because for the past two days since I started following her, it was dinging constantly. I still ended up spending much of the day dealing with my sister’s issues, but I did it more slowly, trying not to drive myself crazy. I found out at noon today that she fell again last night after she got back from the hospital, but I was never notified. Yesterday that would have put me over the edge, but once I found out that she is okay, with my new mindset, I calmly made calls and wrote emails to people at Bridges to find out why her financial Power of Attorney was called, but not me, her Healthcare Power of Attorney. I am realizing that these incidences are not going to go away. I just need to take it all in stride, and baby step, by baby step, get back to life as normal as it can be for me.
2026 Life Logs, Day 197: Complete Stand Still
Date: Thursday, July 16, 2026
Weather: Sunny ‘til Mid-Afternoon, Then Smoky; High Temp 80, Low 62 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
The phone rang just after 7 am. It was my sister’s diabetic nurse telling me she had come into Patsy’s room and found Patsy sitting on the floor beside the bed for the second time since she has been at Bridges. She was complaining of pain in her leg, so they called 911 to get her to the Falmouth Hospital. I threw on some clothes, took Shadow out for a quick morning walk, and headed to the hospital. Then I sat in ER Room 25 until 4:30 pm when we finally got to go home. When they came in early on to take her for a CT scan, I went to the hospital café to get a breakfast sandwich for me and one for Patsy, plus some yogurt for her, and a cup of coffee for me. But even though she is diabetic, she was not allowed to eat until all tests were completed. Well before noon the doctor declared that he could find no problems, but he was not going to release her until a PT appointment could be made. I have tried for two weeks to get that done, and magically I got a call before 1 pm today confirming that Bayada could see her on Monday or Tuesday. The hospital Case Manager had to verify that and then she could be released. But because she could not stand without assistance, the doctor really didn’t want me to transport her home. I finally agreed to using ambulance transport, but I know that is not covered by her current Medicare Advantage plan. But as of August 1, she will be on Medicare with a BCBS supplement and I will no longer have the hassle of trying to finding care with a Medicare Advantage contract.
So, overnight, I went from a roller coaster ride to life at a complete stand still today. I did drive home in the early afternoon to let Shadow out and get a pair of pants for Patsy to wear on the ride home as she was brought to the hospital in just her night shirt. Otherwise, I sat beside my sister for 8 hours. The ambulance transport arrived around 4:40 pm and we all got to Bridges just after 5 pm when everyone was having dinner. We put Patsy directly into her wheelchair and I wheeled her into dinner. I guess all is well that ends well until the next incident. But Falmouth Hospital does not get a good grade from me. Not until late afternoon did anyone ever ask who I was or seek information on my sister. Neither the doctors nor the nurses were aware that she is currently wheelchair bound or had memory care issues, no one ever checked to see if she needed to go the bathroom or needed her Depends brief changed, and no one ever offered her even a cup of water. Maybe my standards are too high, but I did not find it a patient-friendly place to be.
2026 Life Logs, Day 196: Roller Coaster Ride
Date: Wednesday, July 15, 2026
Weather: Mostly Cloudy, Steady Breeze; High Temp 82, Low 66 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
No matter where I turned today, I felt like I was on a roller coaster ride … my sister’s issues, Indivisible, even the World Cup semi-final. I spent the day trying to finalize plans for changing my sister’s health insurance, preparing for an Indivisible Falmouth monthly meeting, watching a little soccer, tracking my sister’s glucose numbers for the first full day, and everything seemed to have highs, then lows, then highs again. And the bigger problem seems to be my inability to balance all of this. I literally don’t feel like I can think straight anymore. Handling my own life has been a little crazy this past year, but now adding my sister’s life to mine is a lot. Yesterday my sister’s Power of Attorney asked for a monthly budget, but I don’t have numbers for him. I have to switch her from North Carolina Medicare Advantage to straight Medicare with a Massachusetts supplement. But since she is no longer walking, at least for now, I am having to go with doctors and dentists, who come to Bridges. And the ones who come there are not all covered by Medicare. If I were to pay for dental insurance, it would be useless, unless I take her out to a dentist. I had to choose between 3 healthcare management teams, but I am struggling with the one I chose to get physical therapy for her. So, I was on the phone today, not just with Blue Cross Blue Shield, but with dental offices, physical therapy offices, Bridges, the RN who has been dealing with her diabetes, in order to find the answers to this and to that. Just when it seemed like something was going to work, then it didn’t. Plus this being the first day of me tracking her glucose numbers put me over the top. Her numbers go up and down and my phone dings with high and low warnings all day. She goes from numbers in the 100’s up to the 300’s and then back and forth all day long. With Indivisible, just when we think we have thought of everything we need to share with members, new things keep popping up by the hour. I want to ride on a swan boat on a placid lake, not on a roller coaster. But the roller coaster seems my fate right now.
2026 Life Logs, Day 195: Back to Work
Date: Tuesday, July 14, 2026
Weather: Partly Cloudy and Windy; High Temp 786 Low 71 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
I was all over the place today. I had a 10 am Board of Library Trustees meeting that unexpectedly lasted until noon. I flew home to eat breakfast/lunch, and was then off to see my sister. I did not get to see her yesterday, but she was great today. When I left she was going on a virtual field trip to see the tall ships in Boston. The Life Enrichment folks at Bridges are amazing. They keep the residents engaged in creative activities all day every day.
While sitting outside with my sister, I sent a text to my friend Karen Baranowski asking about Peter. He had a knee replacement last week and it was a rough week for both Karen and Peter, with very little sleep for either one of them and a lot pain on Peter’s part. But in response to my text early this afternoon, she said they are back on track and invited me to stop by on my way home from seeing my sister at Bridges. So, I did. Karen and I had alone time on the porch to ‘debrief’ while Peter was inside working with the physical therapist. I was so glad to see first-hand that they both doing fine now.
Then I was off to the grocery store to buy things for a taco dinner with the Goldpebbles. Heather had Select Board tonight starting at 5:45 pm and was still going strong at 11:20 pm when I turned the local FCTV broadcast of the meeting off. I was watching because there was a presentation and then a vote tonight to put the debt for the proposed East Falmouth Library project on the November ballot. Jed had a Board of Health meeting beginning at 5:30. So, I was in charge of dinner for the boys. I dropped the groceries at Heather and Jed’s and took Ollie to the Falmouth Country Club for a golf lesson at 5 pm. Then I went home to play with and feed Shadow and pick up more supplies for dinner. Back to pick up Ollie and then to Heather and Jed’s to fix dinner. Sam had just arrived home when Ollie and I got there. He went to Boston today to see the Amerigo Vespucci tall ship and was headed back out to play soccer at the high school and pick up Jonah and bring him home after Jonah’s soccer practice. Jonah and Sam got home around 8:15 pm, just as Ollie and I were eating dinner. The sweaty soccer players both took a shower and joined us and then Jed got home to have a late dinner with us as well. I call these busy Monday nights at the Goldstones ‘rolling’ dinners. Something tells me things are getting back to normal. This kind of ‘all over the place’ day sounds very normal to me!
