Day 90, Year 7: Life Goes On
Date: Monday, February 6, 2012
Weather: Overcast and Cool, High Around 40 degrees F
Location: Home of Tommy and Marilou Martin, Denver, NC
Life went on today as we all know my sister-in-law Conda would want. All of us miss her presence, but we got up this morning determined to continue on. Conda’s son Todd, his wife Shelley, and their three little ones headed home to Georgia and will return here on Friday. Kaelin and Ashlyn, Todd’s six and ten year-old daughters have had perfect attendance at school until last week when they came to see grandma. So they will go back to school for a couple of days until they return on Friday. On Saturday morning they will then drive to West Virginia for Conda’s memorial service. She will be cremated here and her remains and my brother Dickie’s will be transported by Todd and Tommy to West Virginia to be interned together. Tommy and Todd promised that there would still be ashes left over to sprinkle in other favorite places. We figure at some point we will have to sprinkle some of my brother’s ashes in southern West Virginia where he was born. Conda is from a little town in West Virginia named Sissonville and she attended Fisher’s Chapel there all of her life until she and my brother moved to South Carolina just a few years ago. Conda was a Fisher, so this will truly be going home for her. On Sunday, the family will then travel from West Virginia back to South Carolina for a second memorial service on Monday at the Little River Methodist Church. Mark spent much of his day scanning photos of Conda so we can put together a slide show for her memorial services. The rest of us spent time looking through photo album after photo album, reminiscing while choosing the photos to be scanned. My sister Patsy went through Conda’s bedroom here and packed things that need to be returned to her condo in Little River. Tommy and Todd hope to keep the condo and they want all of their mother’s things there so they can go through them at a later date. My sister Patsy and I tried to keep on top of the laundry. With so many people here, there are lots of sheets and towels to be laundered in addition to the normal laundry load in a household with four children. Tommy and Marilou’s children went to school after their Uncle Todd and Aunt Shelley left and we all got to go to a basketball game late this afternoon. Tommy’s thirteen year-old son Cory was playing. His team won and he had more than a couple of shining moments during the game. After the game, Mark and I went to Staples to scan in the precious letters the grandchildren wrote to Conda last night. Then we returned home to a kitchen full of food brought in by neighbors and Tommy’s employer, US Foods. We all spent the evening together continuing to go through photos, including the kids in the selection. It was a cathartic experience for all.
Tomorrow after we complete the slide show, my nieces, Mark, and I will return to Calabash, North Carolina to spend time with my sister and brother-in-law Joe. At this point we are still planning to fly home on Wednesday night. I would love to go to the memorial service in West Virginia, but I also want to be with Mark when he goes to his oncologist appointment on Friday to set up his chemo treatments. And then Mark has to be in Boston on Sunday as he has surgery at Mass General on Monday morning. My niece Jennifer could sense how torn I am and she said something this evening that was quite poignant. She told me to follow my heart and as much as I loved my sister-in-law, my heart is with Mark. I keep thinking I can scheme some way to do it all.
