2024 Life Logs, Day 300: 50 Years Later
Date: Sunday, October 27, 2024
Weather: Sunny, Cool, Windy; High Temp 54, Low 39 degrees F
Location: At Home on Lakeview Avenue, Falmouth, MA
Our wedding day … Sunday, October 27, 1974. Yes, 50 years ago today Mark and I were married at sunrise on Lovers Key in Fort Myers Beach, Florida. Only a few members of Mark’s family were present. Mark and I wrote our wedding vows that ended with poems from James Kavanaugh’s book, “There are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves.” Mark died on September 11, 2016, two months before Donald Trump was elected President. Mark was absolutely certain that the goodness in the souls of the people of this country would never allow a man like Donald Trump to be elected. He was wrong. If Mark were alive today and heard Donald Trump’s closing argument speech at Madison Square Garden this evening, I know he would maintain that there is no way the people of this country will elect him a second time. I wish with all my heart that he will be right this time.
In honor of what would be our 50th wedding anniversary if Mark were still living, I want to share our wedding vows. Reading them after 50 years makes me hope that there is a kinder, gentler way forward for our nation if the “searchers” prevail. Our children and grandchildren deserve that.
MARK: As the sun rises and a new week begins, so do Judy and I begin a new life together. We have something to read that expresses how we feel at this very special time. Judy and I are among the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, little streams and tall trees, deserts and hidden rivers. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know … unless it be to share our laughter.
JUDY: We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we want to love and be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or to compete for love. For Mark and me this marriage is the public pledge of our love for each other … my love for Mark …
MARK: And my love for Judy.
JUDY: In this pledge we wish to state our hopes for our relationship. We hope we will grow through the years to become stronger individuals and we hope our love will grow with us. Two people do not stay the same throughout a lifetime, but where there is love they change together. We hope we will have children and maintain a strong family union. In modern days the family structure has become weak, but we want to rear our children in a situation where we can all work side by side in everything we do … where we can all share equally in the joys and hardships of being a family and providing for ourselves. We make no promise to honor and obey…. only to love. I promise to cheer Mark when he is down and rejoice with him when times are good. I hope he will do the same by me.
MARK: I am here to pledge my love and to wed my life to yours with the hope that we may always be among those …
Who can hear the honking of geese
Above the sound of traffic
Who can hear the weeping of boys
Above the sound of mortars
Who refuse to take life as it is—
Because it wasn’t always.
—————————-
There is quiet water
In the center of your soul,
Where a son or daughter
Can be taught what no man knows.
There’s a fragrant garden
In the center of your soul,
Where the weak can harden
And a narrow mind can grow.
There’s a rolling river
In the center of your soul,
An eternal giver
With a rich and endless flow.
There’s a land of muses
In the center of your soul,
Where the rich are losers
And the poor are free to go.
So, remain with me, then,
To pursue another goal
And to find your freedom
In the center of your soul.
