by Judy Handley | Jun 10, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 161: You Make Plans, Then Life Happens
Date: Wednesday, June 10, 2026
Weather: Sunny. Windy, Rain Late Day; High Temp 71, Low 61 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
I started to write tonight’s log and only got as far as the subject line when I stopped to make a phone call. I was getting ready to write, “You make plans, then life happens.” But I immediately stopped and called my good friend Lynne Kirwin. She owns those words and I decided I needed to give her a call to say hello. She is home in Michigan visiting for the summer from New Zealand. We had a nice long chat, made some tentative plans for her to visit, and now I am back writing this log.
I have been working what seems like non-stop making arrangements to move my sister here to a memory care facility at the end of the month. She was hospitalized in early April with double pneumonia and Covid, recovered, was sent to rehab, and then back to her assisted living. But through that whole process, I found it almost impossible to manage her healthcare from here. It was a full-time job. Because of that, a couple of weeks ago a decision was made to move her here. Since then, I have again spent almost full-time making decisions and arrangements for the move. Then yesterday, her private care person texted me saying she had a cough again and that it sounded like the cough she had in April. I called her doctor and they wanted her in the office today to do a chest x-ray. The diagnosis today was that she has Covid pneumonia. I could not believe it. The doctor prescribed Paxlovid and Prednisone and sent her home. She has to return on Friday for another chest x-ray and oxygen level check. If her oxygen is below 91, she will be hospitalized. If not, she will be sent back to the assisted living and was told she should be able to resume normal activities on Monday. But who knows what is really going to happen. This sent me into a tailspin. What if, what if, what if? All the plans that have been made and the contracts signed for the move could all go out the window. But there is nothing I can do but wait and see. I hope she bounces back from this, but at almost 93, this is a lot. When I read her My Chart from today’s office visit, I saw that her blood pressure was 120 over 70 and her oxygen level was 98. All good. Maybe we caught it in time, but how did she get Covid again after just having it? I will just have to wait see what each day brings.
by Judy Handley | Jun 9, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 160: Changing Hats for a Day
Date: Tuesday, June 9, 2026
Weather: Sunny. Windy; High Temp 72, Low 57 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
I have been wearing my ‘sister hat’ for the past few days, but today, I had to shed that to attend an Indivisible Falmouth Steering Committee meeting, a book club meeting, a meeting with the Executive Director of the Museums on the Green about our Encore reception there next Wednesday, and this evening, a Library Board of Trustees monthly meeting. I did have time to fix myself a wonderful lunch. I baked salmon and had a spring lettuce salad from my garden. But when I got home tonight from the Board of Trustees meeting, the only thing I could find to eat for dinner was M&Ms. How’s that for healthy?!
I did put back on my ‘sister hat’ part of the afternoon as I was on the phone for quite while with a triage nurse at my sister’s primary care’s office working through some details that need to happen before her move. The first half of tomorrow is all Encore, but then I can get back to making travel arrangements for myself and my sister. Evidently, there is no rest for the wicked.
by Judy Handley | Jun 8, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 159: Flying Angels and Braver Angels
Date: Monday, June 8, 2026
Weather: Sunny and Warm; High Temp 73, Low 57 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
I spent most of my day, once again, working on things that need to be done in order to move my sister from assisted living in North Carolina to memory care here on the Cape. I had a long discussion with the triage nurse at her doctor’s office this morning posing questions that I need answers to before she moves. Most importantly, whether or not they can get her off insulin injections and back on pills for her diabetes. Assisted living/memory care facilities in the state of Massachusetts cannot give insulin shots. A family member can do it, but that means I would have to go every evening after dinner to administer the shot. Or we can hire an outside nurse for $75 and upwards per day depending on the case. Ugh.
I went from talking to the triage nurse to having my first communication with ‘angels’ today—but not my last. This first was to reach out to Flying Angels to check on the price of a medically assisted door to door transfer of my sister. The Flying Angels take care of all arrangements, buy the flight tickets (one for me and one for Patsy) to fly on a non-stop commercial flight with a registered nurse accompanying us and then transport us from Boston to the Cape upon arrival. It would save me hours of calls to airlines to get special help at the airport, to TSA to try and get ID for her, and to lessen the stress on me of dealing with the whole thing by myself on the day of the transport. The total cost is $9,000 including the plane fare for both of us. That is pricey, but it is an option.
I spent the entire afternoon at Bridges filling out paperwork and delivering the deposit check that was sent from Patsy’s Power of Attorney via USPS Priority from the Villages in Florida last Tuesday. That supposed 2-day service didn’t arrive until today. When I delivered the check, I just stayed and did the paperwork to get things finalized. I got home just in time to play outside with Shadow and dash to the library for another ‘angels’ encounter. This was with Braver Angels for a two-and-a-half-hour workshop on Depolarizing Within. I learned one thing form the workshop. I have a long way to go in order to depolarize from within. Hard work.
by Judy Handley | Jun 6, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 157: But on the other hand …
Date: Saturday, June 6, 2026
Weather: Partly Sunny and Warm; High Temp 77, Low 60 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
Decisions. Once again, I sound like Tevye in ‘Fiddler on the Roof’. He is forever hashing over a decision, giving equal time to both sides. We could do this, but then on the other hand, we could that. I mentioned the fact that I am having to make many decisions right now, almost to the point of letting it paralyze me mentally. For me, living alone and not having a partner to talk with when making decisions just leaves those decisions constantly rotating around in my head. And that can lead to mental paralysis. No decision at all.
I am planning an end of the year Encore reception for 70 members at the Museums on the Green on June 17. Our programs this year have focused on Falmouth history, so for this final event we will continue to focus on history, celebrating the 250th birthday of this country. I named it the ‘red, white & blue’ reception, and since it is a birthday celebration, of course we have to have a birthday cake. But what kind, what kind of icing, what kind of filling between layers, and how do I want it decorated? I am deciding what kind of wine to buy and how many bottles, what kind of prosecco to buy for an initial toast and how many bottles, what food to order and how much, how do we arrange things in case of rain? And the list of decisions goes on. This afternoon I literally had to go over to see if one of the Goldstones could help me decide on what kind of cake. And thankfully, Heather and Jonah were home and helped make that decision. I went directly to Windfall Market and made that order. One decision made.
Then there are all of the decisions dealing with moving my sister. That list is too long to list here. I did write an email to family last night to ask for suggestions, and I did hear from a couple of people. But this move is really on me. I am not moving most of her furniture here because she is downsizing to a small studio apartment with only one small closet for her clothes from a one bedroom with two big closets. Her queen size bed won’t fit in the new apartment and neither will her double recliners with a little storage unit connecting them. All I know at this point is that I can take possession of the studio apartment on June 15 and begin furnishing it and I will get Patsy here sometime between then and the end of the month. It could be sooner rather than later, so I don’t have time to order furniture. And this is where today’s trip to New Bedford and North Dartmouth comes in. Jonah had to be at New Bedford High School, about 45 minutes from here, at 7:45 am to take the SAT. I offered to take him, and then Heather pointed out that there are a number of furniture stores in North Darthmouth. I could do two things at once. So, while Jonah was taking the test, I shopped. I went to Ashley Furniture, Bob’s Discount Furniture, and Laz-Y Boy. What I found out is that none of them had a recliner in stock that fits our needs and ordering is a 6 to 8 week affair. That helped make one decision. I knew that as soon as Jonah and I got back home, I should go to the furniture store on Main Street and buy the recliner I found there yesterday. But then I debated that with myself. I haven’t signed the paperwork committing to Bridges yet and we haven’t figured out a way to get Patsy from there to here. What if I buy the recliner today and then the move doesn’t happen? I decided to go to Barbo’s, the Falmouth furniture store, to see if I can get my money back if the move doesn’t happen. The answer is yes, so another decision was made. The Best Home Furnishings Sedgefield Leather Power Space Saver Recliner will be delivered to Bridges on June 16. Just now as I was writing about this, I searched online for the recliner I bought and found the description. “The sleek and uncomplicated Sedgefield is the perfect size for someone with a smaller frame. Not too big and not too small, Goldilocks would say this recliner is ‘just right’. This petite recline still offers all the comfort and support you want.” Let’s hope it lives up to the description.
This evening, I forgot about all of this and went to see Ollie’s last soccer game of the spring season. Jonah was one of the referees for this game, so again I got a two for one.
Afterwards Heather suggested that everyone go to Taco Blanco for a team dinner and many parents and players did come. Sam came to join us, then he and Jonah left to watch sunset at the beach with friends. And then Heather and I left Ollie with friends while we drove separate cars to Sagamore. Jed flies home from Canada tonight and will take the last bus to the Sagamore Park ‘n Ride. We left their van there for him to drive home. That way, at least Heather can get a good night’s sleep.
by Judy Handley | Jun 5, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 156: These Truths History Class and Decisions for My Sister
Date: Friday, June 5, 2026
Weather: Sunny and Warm; High Temp 79, Low 58 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
This morning I attended the next to the last class based on the book ‘These Truths—A History of the United States’ by Jill LePore. We will get to the 20th century in next week’s last class and then continue in the fall. I didn’t get to do the reading for this week, but I still find it very worthwhile to go to class to hear Jane’s lecture. I will definitely continue next fall.
The rest of my day was spent going to Bridges, the memory care facility where I plan to relocate my sister. This trip was to meet the Director of Wellness. I will return on Monday with all the paperwork filled out. But I have made the decision. Now I just have to figure out how get her here. But for today, I moved on to start the search for new furniture for her. I made a quick visit to the only furniture store in Falmouth and looked at recliners, beds, and chairs. I learned a very important point. With most recliners the back goes down as the feet go up. I need one where the feet go up and back stays upright. Glad I didn’t decide to order something online without trying it out first! There were many other decisions to be made this afternoon and many phone calls, but I am putting that aside for now and heading to bed early.
by Judy Handley | Jun 4, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 155: Getting a Case of ‘Cold Feet’
Date: Thursday, June 4, 2026
Weather: Sunny and Warm; High Temp 72, Low 56 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
Today I had an Indivisible Falmouth meeting and a reception at the Museums on the Green. But for the most part, I did what I seem to be doing every day which is dealing with issues related to my sister. The biggest issue that happened today was that her assessment evaluation happened a day early. This had a number of people confused, and they were all contacting me to ask why this happened. Obviously, not all communications setting up this assessment were read by everyone, but in the end, even though the team at Bridges only got to see her for about 30 seconds, they approved her admittance to Bridges. And that threw me into an instant case of ‘cold feet’. What if I can’t do all of the things needed in time for the move? What if I can’t get new furniture delivered on time? What if I can’t get her on the airplane? What if she hates it here? What if the medical team can’t deal with her issues? This last question stopped me in my tracks because I realized that I really didn’t meet the medical team at Bridges on Monday. I called immediately to tell them that I cannot sign the admittance paperwork until I do meet the team. But what if someone else takes the only room available while I am dragging my feet on signing the papers? This is a huge decision I am making for my sister, so I am having that psychological bout of anxiety people get before making a big commitment. Unfortunately, the woman I have been working with at Bridges is attending her son’s graduation tomorrow and the woman in charge of health is off doing assessments tomorrow and Monday. I will find out in the morning if there is a time tomorrow I can meet her before or after her off campus assessment. If not, everything will just have to remain on hold until next week.
At the very end of the day, I decided to put all of this out of my mind and go watch Ollie’s soccer game. That was a good decision because I could focus on the game and forget about the decisions to be made. I’ll get back to that in the morning.
