by Judy Handley | Jul 2, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 163: On the Run
Date: Thursday, July 2, 2026
Weather: Sunny and Hot; High Temp 86, Low 72 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
I have no air conditioning in my car and this was definitely the wrong day to spend much of my time running around in my car. But that was basically my day. By 8:30 am I had driven the 15 miles north, just shy of the Bourne Bridge, to drop Shadow off at Pampered Paws. I did this on Friday, almost two weeks ago, but when I got home with him, it became obvious that he had not been groomed the same as all of the other times since I have taken him there every 7 weeks since late 2020. But I literally didn’t even have time to call and tell them. When I called a week later, they insisted I bring him in to make things right and today was the day. I then drove home to the things for my sister that I had forgotten to take with me. I then drove the 10 miles to Mashpee, made sure Patsy ate her lunch, and drove the 10 miles home. I picked Ollie up and drove him to the Falmouth Country Club to play golf, and then back to Bourne to pick up Shadow. I got a text from Heather when I got home that she was finally arriving at the Falmouth bus depot, so I was delighted to drive the half mile to pick her up. She got off the bus carrying a 60-pound duffle bag and her backpack. She really enjoyed her time in the Arctic but was certainly ready to be back home. So, the day was a lot of running to and fro, but at least I got to see Ollie and my daughter! Jonah gets home tomorrow from Hawaii and Ollie leaves early Sunday morning for a week at Camp Yawgoog in Rhode Island with his Scout troop. Today was a lot of being on the run, but for the first time in two weeks, I got to see my family. That made me very happy.
by Judy Handley | Jul 1, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 162: USA
Date: Wednesday, July 1, 2026
Weather: Foggy Early, Then Partly Sunny and Hot; High Temp 79, Low 68 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
Although I saw only parts of the last half of the USA vs Bosnia-Herzegovina World Cup game tonight, it was definitely the highlight of my day. And I was thrilled to hear the San Francisco crowd belting out “Take me Home, Country Roads” after the game. Since I am a West Virginian, I loved it, but I had to text Jed to ask why they were singing that song. I didn’t realize it has become the official victory anthem for the US Men’s National Team. It evidently has no real meaning to the team other than being an iconic American song that everyone around the world seems to know the words to sing along. This mountain mama appreciates their choice.
As life goes, none of the things that I had planned to get done for my sister today happened. By trying to order a smart phone for her Dexcom glucose monitoring system last night, I managed to get her credit card cancelled. They put a stop on the card two weeks ago for another purchase I attempted, but last night’s attempt must have convinced them her card has been compromised. I spent the morning with her and talked with the PA who will be visiting Bridges every Wednesday and will see Patsy as needed. And I also talked with the podiatrist who saw her yesterday. I got home in time to have lunch and then began an afternoon of talking with her Power of Attorney about the credit card and about how to reimburse me for the thousands of dollars I have had to spend on her behalf. Then I was off again to spend some after dinner time with Patsy. We spent a lovely hour out in the garden enjoying a beautiful summer evening.
by Judy Handley | Jun 29, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 160: Illusions and a Philadelphia-Inspired Dinner
Date: Monday, June 29, 2026
Weather: Partly Sunny; High Temp 82, Low 61 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
First thing this morning, I attended the first Falmouth Immigrant Rights Coalition Zoom meeting in weeks. But I realized halfway through that right now, I just don’t have the energy to put into this very important organization. I will continue to do what I can, but I am going to have to step down from being on the Steering Committee. Literally all of my time and energy right now is going into getting my sister settled, so some things are going to have to go by the wayside. I will stick with Indivisible Falmouth because that is where my heart is. We must do all we can to stop the current attack on our democracy. And that is a full time job!
I took some time to sit in the sun in the early afternoon and then I regrouped and got ready to go visit my sister and then go to Midge Frieswyk’s for our dining-in group gathering. I sat with Patsy while she ate dinner, helping her as I could. Without prompting, she just sits and looks at her food. Then I headed across the street to Midge’s new condo in neighboring Southport. On one side of the street you have a lovely senior living neighborhood and on the other side you have a ‘neighborhood’ for those dealing with memory issues. So, I guess you can live the good life until you can’t and then check yourself in across the street!
In honor of the 250th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia, tonight’s theme was food from Philadelphia. Midge served Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. A Philly cheesesteak is made with thinly sliced steak and melted Cheez Whiz on a long hoagie roll. Not the healthiest dinner choice, but really good. I decided to do Midge one better by brining a dessert snack that originated in Philadelphia in 1914. I made a tower of Tastykake individually wrapped-in-plastic cakes. The slogan for these high fructose sugar infused treats was “The Cake That Made Mother Stop Baking.” On the first day of sales in February of 1914 they sold $28 worth of cakes at ten cents a piece and by the end of the first week of sales they had made $222. By the end of the year, they grossed $300,000 in sales, and they are still going strong.
Heather is still in the Arctic, preparing for the two day trek home that begins tomorrow. Jonah is still in Hawaii, but will arrive home on Friday. Justin, Jo, Ziggy, and Coco are in England visiting with Jo’s family. I got a photo from Justin mid-afternoon showing him hanging by one hand on the side of a building at the Museum of Illusions with Ziggy and Coco standing and sitting on the top ledge of the front door and Jo hanging from the front. When I asked Justin if he was really hanging by one hand, he admitted that he was not. They were on the floor. Interesting illusion. But the full Strawberry moon tonight was not illusiion. It was beautiful.
by Judy Handley | Jun 28, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 179: This Beautiful Country of Ours
Date: Sunday, June 28, 2026
Weather: Sunny; High Temp 79, Low 60 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
I have lived in 12 of the 50 states in this country, traveled by car, truck, or van from coast to coast 3 times, hitchhiked from Oregon to San Francisco, down through Big Sur to Los Angeles and back east to Illinois. Mark and I drove from Indiana to Alaska and traveled from the Kenai Peninsula to Fairbanks and then back down to the state of Washington. I have traveled by bus from Illinois to Idaho and Mark and I traveled by bus from Boston to Amarillo, Texas. Plus, Mark and I drove most of Route 66, and we sailed the east coast from Maine to the Keys. I have not seen all of this country (I have not been to Hawaii.), but I have been blessed to see enough to truly appreciate its beauty and its diversity. I love this country. And I say this because …
This morning my friend Midge texted a group of us to say that CBS Sunday Morning had a wonderful 250th tribute on the air right then. I used to record that program and watch it when there was a really good episode. But I am currently boycotting CBS for obvious reasons. Still, I was curious enough to find a way to watch the episode tonight. It was definitely worth watching—the diversity of our food, our music, our national parks–until the very end when author and historian Douglas Brinkley ended the program with a message to give us hope when our democracy is in such peril. But he stated that this country has been through worse before and we have come out of it. I disagree with him on that point. Certainly, the Civil War was horrific, and our democracy has been challenged many times and we have prevailed. But what Brinkley did not acknowledge is that never before in our history has our democratic form of government been challenged from within by the elected President of our country, along with all of the power that office wields. Hope is essential, but hope is not a strategy in this case. My wish for the upcoming 250th anniversary of this country is that the people will come together and stand united to do whatever is necessary to uphold our democracy of, by, and for the people. Historians who offer hope and don’t recognize the gravity of our current situation are not helpful. In my opinion, people like Brinkley are in denial. Every single one of us has to wake-up and work hard, work like we have never worked before, to take back our country.
There. I got that off my chest. But while I am on the topic of the beauty of this country, I proudly report that my daughter spent her day traveling 130 miles north from the Toolik Field Station to Deadhorse, Alaska, on Prudhoe Bay. This is as far north as you can go on land in the United States. I sure hope she took lots of photos. And I can’t wait until she gets home on Thursday and can share the stories of her far north adventure.
What I did today had nothing to do with saving our democracy or traveling to the ends of the earth. I visited my sister and took her on a little explore outside of her new ‘home’. My friend Midge, who recommended we all watch CBS Sunday Morning, lives in a senior retirement community across the street from my sister’s memory care facility. After lunch Patsy asked to go for a ride, so I strapped her in her wheelchair, texted Midge, and walked Patsy out of the building (with permission, of course), across the road, and through the Southport neighborhood to Midge’s condo. Midge brought out cold drinks and we sat together, Patsy in her wheelchair and Midge and I sitting on the steps of her front porch. Patsy had a conversation with Midge about the flowers on her front porch. It was warm and sunny and beautiful, and this was a wonderful way to spend time with my sister this afternoon. Since she seems interested in flowers, I will have to plan some car trips to take her to various gardens or even to a nursery. But first I have to get medical help to figure out why all of a sudden she is not walking with her walker. She is like dead weight when I try to transfer her from her wheelchair to standing with her walker. Until this is better, getting her in and out of a car would be very difficult. I would need a second person. So, we will walk in the neighborhood for now and hope that being wheelchair bound is temporary. But it is encouraging that she is interested in getting out and exploring.
by Judy Handley | Jun 27, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 178: Baby Steps
Date: Saturday, June 27, 2026
Weather: Sunny Early, Turning Cloudy with Sprinkles; High Temp 77, Low 62 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
Once again, I spent my entire dealing either dealing with issues related to my sister or being with her at Bridges. But by day’s end, with a little help from a friend, I realized that it is time that I take baby steps to get my life back to where it was 3 months ago when my sister was diagnosed with Covid and double pneumonia the first time. And it is time that I allow her to take the baby steps needed to become a fully integrated resident of her memory care community. It is easy to say this, but it is not easy to make it happen. Since she arrived on Wednesday evening, I have been with her at the memory care facility much of the time. I wanted her to know that she is not alone, that we didn’t just move her here and plop her down amongst strangers. I wanted her to know that someone she knows is there for her. But that is not her reality. I do not pretend to even begin to understand the world as experienced by someone with dementia, but I do know that each time I return to see Patsy, she is surprised to see me and wonders aloud why I am there. It is heartbreaking to experience, and I am going to seek out a support group to help me through this. After being with her over the past three days, I know that she is in a safe environment where she is well cared for and involved in activities throughout the day. She goes to chair yoga in the morning where she doesn’t yet participate, but she enjoys the music they play while exercising. This afternoon there was a concert, one man with his guitar who performs there weekly. He sings familiar songs and some of the residents sing along. And today she asked that we sit in the living area and watch television with the others. While in assisted living in North Carolina, she rarely went to the many activities. She seems much more interested in being with others here than she did there. And they tell me that is a good thing.
I asked my friend Karen Baranowski to come meet me at Bridges today to see Patsy and give me some advice. Karen’s PhD is in Gerontology, and she knows a whole lot more than I do about dealing with dementia patients. Her ‘tough love’ advice was hard to hear, but it was what I needed to hear. Now I just need to follow through. Again, it is easier said than done. But I thank her for coming and for providing dinner for me tonight. Thank you, Karen!
by Judy Handley | Jun 27, 2026 | 2026 Life Logs |
2026 Life Logs, Day 177: Happy 17th Birthday to Jonah plus Last Day of School
Date: Friday, June 26, 2026
Weather: Cloudy with Noon Time Down Pour; High Temp 73, Low 63 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
I haven’t written a log since Monday, so lots to catch up on. But the big news today is that it is Jonah’s 17th birthday, and he is spending it in Honolulu with his good friend Kaiden. They are visiting Kaiden’s grandfather and enjoying the Pacific Ocean. Heather sent me some photos, and they look like they are having a great time. Jonah loves the Pacific Ocean and I look forward to hearing his stories from the trip when he returns next week, just in time for the 4th of July. Happy Birthday to my very lucky grandson!
Today was the last day of school for Ollie, and the very last day that I will ever again pick up a Goldstone from Lawerence Middle School. Another milestone. It is hard for me to believe, but
Ollie is now off to Falmouth High School.
The last week has been one of the hardest weeks I have ever negotiated. I am still working almost full time dealing with my sister’s move. I made one trip to Bridges right after lunch to check on her and to deliver the new clothes I had purchased for her. Then I made a second trip to visit with her after dinner. The residents watch Britain’s Got Talent show after dinner, so I am being introduced to whole host of new experiences. And in between visits, I was downloading and filling out forms to get her medical records sent here, making arrangements for her first ‘wellness’ visit form the healthcare group that visits Bridges every Tuesday and arranging a time to meet with them, filling out paperwork to get her hair done, shopping for clothes for her, checking in with the nurse that comes from outside the memory care facility to check her blood sugar level twice and a day and give her the insulin injection in the evening, and most importantly, just spending time visiting with her. I have a lot to learn about dementia but one thing I know about my sister is that she does know who I am and she knows my name. Today she tried to tell me a story about Heather. I think she associates Heather with me. And today she asked me questions like, “Where do you sleep at night?” When I answered that I sleep at my house but that she sleeps at Bridges so people can take care of her, her response was, “You are so lucky to be able to sleep in your own home.” Then she changed the subject and went on to talk about things that made no sense to me at all. As I spend more time with her, maybe I will learn to understand her language. I have a feeling those stories she tells me that sound absolutely insane probably relate to reality in some way. I just don’t know how to understand her language yet.
Tomorrow morning, I hope to catch up on writing the logs from the past three days. But I want to add one more thing to this log. My nephew Rex and Patsy’s son-in-law Bill made it back to the Charlotte area in the early afternoon today. They spent four full days traveling in order to get Patsy here. Thank you, Rex and Bill, and Brenda who traveled with them to care for Patsy. Today Bridges posted a photo from their arrival in the RV on Wednesday saying, “Bridges or Bust! Our newest resident arrived in an RV from North Carolina this week and what a trooper! Close to two 12-hour days to arrive at Bridges Mashpee and our tender loving care!! Kudos to family members involved in the successful road trip! “
