2026 Life Logs, Day 178: Baby Steps
Date: Saturday, June 27, 2026
Weather: Sunny Early, Turning Cloudy with Sprinkles; High Temp 77, Low 62 degrees F
Location: At Home with My Shadow, Falmouth, MA
Once again, I spent my entire dealing either dealing with issues related to my sister or being with her at Bridges. But by day’s end, with a little help from a friend, I realized that it is time that I take baby steps to get my life back to where it was 3 months ago when my sister was diagnosed with Covid and double pneumonia the first time. And it is time that I allow her to take the baby steps needed to become a fully integrated resident of her memory care community. It is easy to say this, but it is not easy to make it happen. Since she arrived on Wednesday evening, I have been with her at the memory care facility much of the time. I wanted her to know that she is not alone, that we didn’t just move her here and plop her down amongst strangers. I wanted her to know that someone she knows is there for her. But that is not her reality. I do not pretend to even begin to understand the world as experienced by someone with dementia, but I do know that each time I return to see Patsy, she is surprised to see me and wonders aloud why I am there. It is heartbreaking to experience, and I am going to seek out a support group to help me through this. After being with her over the past three days, I know that she is in a safe environment where she is well cared for and involved in activities throughout the day. She goes to chair yoga in the morning where she doesn’t yet participate, but she enjoys the music they play while exercising. This afternoon there was a concert, one man with his guitar who performs there weekly. He sings familiar songs and some of the residents sing along. And today she asked that we sit in the living area and watch television with the others. While in assisted living in North Carolina, she rarely went to the many activities. She seems much more interested in being with others here than she did there. And they tell me that is a good thing.
I asked my friend Karen Baranowski to come meet me at Bridges today to see Patsy and give me some advice. Karen’s PhD is in Gerontology, and she knows a whole lot more than I do about dealing with dementia patients. Her ‘tough love’ advice was hard to hear, but it was what I needed to hear. Now I just need to follow through. Again, it is easier said than done. But I thank her for coming and for providing dinner for me tonight. Thank you, Karen!
