2019 Life Logs, Day 125: Sunday Dinner at Oma’s
Date: Sunday, May 5, 2019
Weather: Rain All Day; High 50, Low 46 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Cottage, East Falmouth, MA

It was a dreary, rainy Cinco de Mayo here on Cape Cod. It feels like it has been dreary and rainy forever, but it does look like we might get a little sunshine in the next couple of days. That will be most welcomed. I invited Heather and gang over for dinner, so that was the highlight of my day. I also talked to Justin, Coco, and Ziggy via Skype. Justin and Jo found a Cinco de Mayo air flight sale on Virgin Airlines that will make their trip to England affordable, so Justin called to check out dates that work best for them to make a stop here before heading on to England. If things worked out with booking the flights, they will be here the middle week of July. Hurray! Since I didn’t get to go visit this winter due to the knee surgery, I’m very anxious to see them.

2019 Life Logs, Day 124: It Takes a Village
Date: Saturday, May 4, 2019
Weather: Rain Overnight, Overcast Day with Some Rain; High 56, Low 47 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Cottage, East Falmouth, MA

One day this week when I was talking to Jed about weekend plans, it became apparent to me that he and Heather could use some help today. Today he had to go with Sam to Martha’s Vineyard for a soccer game. That meant they had to leave home by 8:30 am and wouldn’t get home until 3:30 pm. Heather has worked for two years to get a courtyard for outdoor learning up and running at the elementary school and this morning was a major worktime for the ‘village’ landscaper and parent volunteers, so she needed to be there. And then she had to be in Boston by 2:30 pm to be the emcee for the awards ceremony for the State Science Fair. So, I suggested to Jed, and then yesterday to Heather, that I come over at 8:30 this morning and take care of Jonah and Ollie for the day. It takes a village . . . to develop a wonderful outdoor learning space at a school and to take care of grandkids while parents are off doing wonderful things like encouraging young people to become scientists by enthusiastically emceeing the State Science Fair awards ceremony.

Jonah, Ollie, neighbor Joey (whose grandmother was also kidsitting today), and I watched a soccer game this morning and then I took them to the elementary school to play football and to get a glimpse of the work Heather and her ‘village’ were doing on the courtyard. The boys found a great patch of grass for throwing the football back and forth and a sandy patch for drawing out their plans.

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And Heather was overseeing the landscaping in the courtyard around the pergola they installed a year or so ago. There were parents, kids, and AmeriCorps volunteers at work.

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We all came home for lunch. Heather did a quick change and headed to Boston and then the mother of one of Ollie’s friends, another member of the ‘village’, picked him up to take him to a birthday party. Jonah and I stayed home and folded laundry and played Clue. Before we knew it, Jed was home with Sam. Then it was time for Jonah to go to a soccer scrimmage. Jed had a grant due yesterday and was up until almost 5 am on Friday morning. By the time he got home this afternoon from a ferry trip to Martha’s Vineyard for Sam’s soccer game, he looked absolutely wiped out. So, I volunteered to take Jonah to his scrimmage and stay to bring him home. Hopefully Jed made it until Heather returned from Boston tonight. It has been an unbelievably busy week for both of them. I don’t see anything on the calendar until 3 pm tomorrow, so hopefully they can have a slow Sunday morning to regroup energy. I plan to also have a slow Sunday morning—not because I need it, but because I like it. I honestly feel energized just by being part of the village that makes all this crazy activity possible.

2019 Life Logs, Day 123: Connections
Date: Friday, May 3, 2019
Weather: Mostly Cloudy; High 53, Low 49 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Cottage, East Falmouth, MA

According to Wikipedia, “Six degrees of separation is the idea that all people are six, or fewer, social connections away from each other. As a result, a chain of ‘a friend of a friend’ statements can be made to connect any two people in a maximum of six steps.” I wasn’t thinking about this last night as I watched The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC when she was interviewing yet another democrat declaring his run for President, Senator Michael Bennet from Colorado. I had seen him before in a bit of a rant on the Senate floor, but had paid no attention to who he was. As Rachel was interviewing him, he mentioned that his parents had taught him the importance of public service. Rachel then started reading his father’s resume of public service jobs, and I exclaimed (to myself) that this guy’s dad was Doug Bennet. I knew Doug Bennet, and his second wife, Midge Ramsey, when they both worked at National Public Radio (NPR) in the 1980’s. Doug was the president of NPR when Mark was being sought after to become the next manager of the only public radio station in New Hampshire at that time, WEVO. He had been contacted by a head hunter in July of 1989 and I suggested Mark ignore this as I was not moving to New Hampshire. We had a great life on the Eastern Shore of Maryland and I had no intention of moving to the cold north country. But the head hunter persisted and Mark was very interested in the challenge of the job as the hope was to expand WEVO into a statewide public radio network. January came and the pressure increased, but I still said no. In February, I went with Mark to the 20th anniversary celebration of NPR at Union Station in Washington, DC. It was Doug and his wife Mitzi that cornered me at that celebration and made a very convincing case for why I should support Mark in his desire to take this job. Doug’s pitch was that it was what was right for public radio, as well as what was right for Mark. Mark thought of Doug as a good friend, and on that evening in Union Station, I realized that it was not just Mark that wanted that job in New Hampshire. He was being encouraged by the powers that be. A month later, I caved, and finally gave into the move to New Hampshire. It was not nearly as painful as I had envisioned and we happily spent the next fifteen years there. But it was a bit of shock last night to realize that the son of a friend is running for President. Made me feel a tad old. Doug and Mark are no longer with us, but I still feel their connection and now the connection of Doug’s son. And I realize that the idea of six degrees of separation is real.

Realizing the connection last night, led me to reflect on my connection to so many other wonderful friends. My good friends Linda and Mike Stuart who are biking around the world are currently in Australia. They are now in Queensland and when I read their blog last night, I realized they are approaching the towns that Mark and I have visited, first when Heather was in college there, and later when we sailed up the coast of Australia. I am now particularly interested in reading their nightly blog to compare our impressions of that part of the world. And then this morning, Jane Woodin and I went for a walk, and we talked about her upcoming trip to Alaska. She and Bruce are going on a cruise, not driving there as Mark and I did, but they will be visiting many of the same places. I am so anxious to hear their report of that trip and to compare notes when they return. Connections, connections.

2019 Life Logs, Day 122: Hard Decisions
Date: Thursday, May 2, 2019
Weather: Mostly Cloudy; High 57, Low 42 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Cottage, East Falmouth, MA

Every spring since I lost Mark, I have struggled with the hard decision of where I am going to live. I enjoyed renting the apartment on the harbor, but it was more expensive than I could really afford. Plus, I love to garden and I couldn’t do that there. In the spring of 2017, I looked for homes to buy and other places to rent. I came up with nothing of interest. The same thing happened last spring, and then the possibility of renting this cottage came up as a result of a conversation with friends. I love it here and this spring I approached the owner to see if she would be willing to sell it to me. She will, but there is still the question of whether I can I really afford it? As most of you know, owning a home comes with lots of expenses. At the same time, Heather and Jed have been on the lookout for a home with enough bedrooms for all of them and a small in-law apartment for me. Last week we looked at one that was very promising. The price is right, the location is right, the house is big enough, but the yard is small and the orientation to the sun is not perfect for gardening. So, we decided to hire an architect to come look at their current home to see if it can be renovated at a reasonable cost to accommodate all of us. We met with the architect this afternoon, and yes, it can be renovated, but the cost is more than we had hoped. We are all still wrestling with this. Thankfully, there is no real emergency as we will all survive just fine for another year as is. Hard decisions like this take time, and time is something Heather and Jed have very little of right now. We’ll continue the conversation this weekend and see where we land.

2019 Life Logs, Day 121: April Showers Do Bring May Flowers
Date: Wednesday, May 1, 2019
Weather: Overcast; High 56, Low 47 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Cottage, East Falmouth, MA

It was another dreary day, but when I went over to Heather and Jed’s, I was greeted by a ray of sunshine. The ‘sunny’ tulips in their front yard are proof that April showers DO bring May flowers. The shades of red, orange, and yellow in the variegated tulips are just beautiful. I went there to put a laundry load I did for myself yesterday in the dryer. Then I traveled on into town for a one-on-one computer tutoring session. I went to the gym for the first time since my surgery and rode the stationary bike, went to the grocery store, and then returned home to listen to a couple of episodes from the Food Revolution Summit. What we eat is so very important to our health, but so is exercise. So, after listening the two interviews, I took walk through the neighborhood. The temperature was in the low 50’s, but with the wind and no sun, it felt downright cold. I wore my winter coat and before the end of the walk I put on my winter mittens. And this was the first day of May. This evening I volunteered to go pick Jonah up from his soccer practice which didn’t end until 7:30 pm. He was in shorts and wasn’t at all cold. When he saw me in my winter coat he said, “Oma, you are weird.” Maybe so, but I was warm!

2019 Life Logs, Day 120:  The Weather
Date:  Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Weather:  Overcast; High 51, Low 30 degrees F
Location:  At Home in The Cottage, East Falmouth, MA

The weather on this last day of April was overcast and dreary and we have many more of these days forecast in the next week.  And the temperature tonight will be in the 30’s.  Too cold for me for this time of year.  But since there is nothing that can be done about it, I spent most of my day listening to various interviews in a docu-series called the 2019 Food Revolution Summit.  Then I went to pick Jonah and Ollie up from school.  They wanted to play on the playground after school, so we hung out there for about 45 minutes.  They seem to be unfazed by this weather.  I have booked my flight to Tennessee to spend a week with my sister.  I fly there next Thursday, May 9.  Maybe it will be warmer and sunnier there.

2019 Life Logs, Day 119: Blossoming Trees & Ollie’s Violin and Tennis Lessons
Date: Monday, April 29, 2019
Weather: Partly Sunny and Windy; High 57, Low 42 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Cottage, East Falmouth, MA

The highlights of my day were the beautiful blossoming trees and Ollie’s afterschool violin and tennis lessons. The house across my driveway belongs to my landlady, Shirley. She has a weeping Japanese peach tree in front of her home and it was in full blossom today. What a beautiful sight every time I looked out the window! I picked Jonah and Ollie up after school. Jonah headed home to meet Jed who was taking him to his guitar lesson and I headed into town with Ollie for his violin lesson. I did the same last week and so enjoy listening to him play. After that lesson, we headed to a tennis lesson. This was Ollie’s idea. He really wants to learn to play tennis. The only lesson time for his age was immediately following violin, but so far that is working. Just as with the violin, he takes his instructor so seriously and delights in learning the new tennis moves. He is so enthusiastic that he wants everyone in the family to get a tennis racket so we can all play. I love it.

2019 Life Logs, Day 118: Soccer and Houses
Date: Sunday, April 28, 2019
Weather: Sunny AM, Rainy PM; High 57, Low 41 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Cottage, East Falmouth, MA

Today was all about soccer and houses. It shouldn’t have been an emotionally draining day, but tonight I am wiped out. Unusual for me. I can work for hours and never tire, but decision making is difficult. Making decisions about where and how I want to live, added to the death of my brother-in-law, has taken its toll on me. Even the soccer part of the day was slightly draining. Jonah had a 9 am soccer game. His team almost always wins their games, but not today. I can only remember one loss in the last couple of years. Today the team was just not energized. The parents were joking that the boys all looked like they needed a few cups of coffee! Jonah played offense in the first half and then was goalie for the second half. I loved watching him kick that ball out of the goal box . . . ready, set, kick. But watching anyone be goalie is stressful, even more so when it is your grandson.

After the game, we all went to look at the house that I toured on Friday. We were there for an hour and half. Everyone was interested, but we all left with questions. We took a short break for lunch and I drove to the Falmouth Hospital to get the second in my series of shingle shots. Then Heather, Jed, and I sat at the dining table and talked through things for two hours. We went through the pros of cons of the house we had just toured and the pros and cons of the house they are in currently. Is there any possible way of adding on to the current house to give them more space for bedrooms for the boys AND add a mother-in-law apartment? The home we toured has both of those things, but it needs a lot of work that will cost money and time. Selling the current house will take more money and time to get ready to show. Is there a way to buy the new house, renovate it, move in, and then get the work done to sell the current house? This means juggling two mortgages at the same time. And then there is the issue that new house has lots of room inside, but the yard and the orientation of the house to the sun are limited. Heather and Jed currently have a half-acre lot that they have put a huge amount of work into. The new house has limited yard space and is shadier than we would like. The back and forth went on and on until we were finally going in circles. So, Heather called the realtor and she came over to answer some of the financial questions and to help put things in perspective. Each of us sees positives and negatives to the current house and the new house, so we are going to do more research into adapting the current house to meet our needs before moving on. Heather is in the middle of public radio fundraising, Jed is going to be out of town for 11 days in May, and I will be heading to Tennessee next week to spend some time with my sister. I think it will be well into June before we can make a decision and the new house could be taken by someone else by then. So be it. You just can’t rush these things. And we will certainly all survive if things stay just like they are for now. But it is emotionally draining for all of us to deal with it.

News from Puerto Rico . . . Coco lost her first front tooth today.

2019 Life Logs, Day 117: In Memory . . .
Date: Saturday, April 27, 2019
Weather: Partly Sunny; High 58, Low 42 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Cottage, East Falmouth, MA

This log is written in memory of my brother-in-law, Joe Kerwood. He has been battling multiple health issues for a number of years now and died instantly today as a result of a fall. Joe was 85 years-old. Our relationship goes back many years. I was in fourth grade when he was dating my sister Patsy. Either in the summer of 1956 just before my 4th grade year or in 1957 just after my 4th grade year, Joe decided it was time for me to be introduced to the world of sports. All of my brothers and sisters were much older than me, and I had grown up to this point unaware of sports other than Wednesday night boxing on TV sponsored by Gillette. Joe bought me a whiffle ball set which looks just the same today, yellow plastic bat with a white plastic ball with holes in it. He tried desperately to get me to be able to hit the ball. I was hopeless, but still, I will forever have that memory. Joe was a chemist at Monsanto who worked his way into international rubber sales by patenting an agent that goes into rubber to make tires last longer. As a result, he was transferred from West Virginia to Akron, Ohio, the home of Goodyear Tire & Rubber. He traveled the world selling rubber products for Monsanto. He became a die-hard Cleveland Browns fan and when daughter Janet went to Ohio State, he became a die-hard Buckeye fan. And he loved to play golf. He shared his love of sports with his family—his daughters and all of his nieces and nephews. Many of them loved him not only as an uncle, but as a second father. He loved his family and they loved him. I have more than 50 years of wonderful memories with Joe and my sister Patsy. He will be missed by all of us, but always remembered with much love.

2019 Life Logs, Day 116: Shellfish Workshop, Computer Catch-up, Cooking
Date: Friday, April 26, 2019
Weather: Stormy; High 50, Low 44 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Cottage, East Falmouth, MA

We had some stormy weather today. Early on there was just rain, but then there were periods of wind with thunder. Then this evening, just before dark, we had a full-fledged thunder storm with driving rain. Heather took Jonah and Ollie on a Scout camp overnight and when that storm came, I envisioned them abandoning their tent and heading home in the van. But Jed emailed a little later to say they were snug and dry. So that is good. I spent my morning at a Shellfish Workshop sponsored by the Newcomers Shellfishing Group led by Peter Baranowski. He and Karen are two of the many community members that volunteer over 3,000 hours each year to help the Falmouth Marine & Environmental Services Department with their oyster, quahog, and bay scallop propagation programs. It is quite an impressive volunteer group. Peter went in early to set-up, so I picked Karen up in the pouring rain. But by the time we got there, the rain had calmed down for a bit. I went to this same workshop last year, but I learned so many new things today. So ‘same’ is not always ‘same’.

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