by Judy Handley | Oct 8, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 57: Lunch and Shopping
Date: Saturday, October 8, 2016
Weather: Sunny Turning Mostly Cloudy with Sprinkles, High 71 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Studio, Falmouth, MA
The title of this log doesn’t evoke a lot of excitement, but actually it was a very nice day. I got up and remembered to take vitamins for the second day in a row and I actually did the exercises (for the first time) that my chiropractor has been wanting me to do for weeks now. So this is evidence that I am slowly returning to the normal activities of daily life. Then I headed to IKEA to do a little shopping. My two nieces that live just north of Boston, Candi and Lynn, had suggested we meet for lunch today somewhere halfway between here and there. The location of IKEA and Costco is just about half way, so I was able to have lunch with them and do some shopping. Perfect. I have seen Candi and Lynn twice in the past few weeks, but we have never really had time to sit and talk. So a late lunch today gave us that opportunity. I know they don’t want me to be alone, so it was very thoughtful of them to want to get together today.
I spent tonight putting together the low shelving unit I bought at IKEA today. I wanted something to put under the dining room window behind the dining table to put potted plants on for the winter. The unit I bought is perfect, but now I realize I needed to buy two of them. I am going to email Heather and Jed to see if they might stop on their way home from Maine to pick up a second unit.
I heard from my friends Ed and Lynne today letting me that their boat Constance, which is on the hard in Georgia, survived Matthew unscathed. I sent a text to Sam and Dawn to see if they have heard anything about Windbird on the hard in Charleston, SC. They are in Annapolis attending the boat show and only know that the people at the boat yard in Charleston evacuated. But reports indicate that the wind was not so bad in the area of the boat yard, so we’ll hope all is well. However, we’ll have to wait until people return there tomorrow to know for sure that Windbird is safe.
by Judy Handley | Oct 7, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 56: Approaching ‘Almost’ Normal
Date: Friday, October 7, 2016
Weather: Mix of Sun and Clouds, High 77 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Studio, Falmouth, MA
I feel like I am approaching ‘almost’ normal after almost a month of constant distraction. The distraction was good, but it is time to settle into life without Mark. He’ll always be with me in spirit, but I miss his constant companionship so much. I can’t imagine how long it will take to adjust, but I’m giving it my best effort. I actually remembered to take my vitamins today. Small step, but it does show progress. I had an appointment at the bank first thing this morning and I spent the rest of the day checking to make sure that the billpay Heather set up last week is working as it should. This required a few more phone calls with long waits to change the name on an account or two. There were a couple of glitches, but basically I think things are set up to work automatically from now on. The next thing was to figure out how much money will be coming in from now on with the adjusted Social Security payment. I get Mark’s SS which was a little more than mine, but I lose mine. So basically that income is cut almost in half. And it is not that much cheaper for one to live than two, so I am going to have to tighten my budget belt a little.
I called Mark’s sister Mary Ellen and Lee this evening to tell them about the NHPR Celebration of Life in Mark’s honor. I also wanted to check on their son Bryan and family that live near the St. John’s River in Jacksonville, Florida. Evidently they evacuated to Atlanta and will return tomorrow. I was glad to hear that they were not in Jacksonville. And then I remembered that I was supposed to go to Heather’s to feed the guinea pigs. Heather and family headed to Maine for the long weekend and I offered to feed Max and Mortimer twice a day. I’m back home now and ready to settle in for the night. It is time to do my nightly check on the weather and politics. As I know all of you are, I’m so grateful that Matthew has been downgraded and is not expected to be quite as destructive as thought yesterday. There is still going to be plenty of damage, but the loss of life in this country has thus far been avoided. But I haven’t heard an update this evening, so it’s time to do so. I’m still concerned about Ed and Lynne’s boat, Constance, that is on the hard on the Florida and Georgia border and Windbird on the hard in Charleston, South Carolina. Hopefully both will escape harm.
by Judy Handley | Oct 6, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 55: Not Really Alone
Date: Thursday, October 6, 2016
Weather: Mix of Sun and Clouds, High 68 degrees F
Location: Back Home at The Studio, Falmouth, MA
Last night I titled my log, “Home Alone.” But today I realized that I am never really alone. I feel truly blessed. I can constantly feel the love being sent my way by so many friends and family members. And I am never more than a phone call away from any of you. I can literally feel your presence as I negotiate my days and nights. Thank you for being there for me.
The Goldstones are headed to Maine for the weekend, so I had them over to dinner tonight. I bought a big stuffed dog at IKEA yesterday and Ollie immediately attached himself to “Woofster”—named by Ollie. Actually Ollie became so attached to Woofster that the stuffed doggie will be going to Maine with him this weekend.
I’m cutting this log short because I would like to add yesterday’s post from Windbird’s new owners. You can go to their website at http://wotwater.blogspot.com to read all of their logs.
Connection & Celebration
from the blog of Sam and Dawn Weigel, Windbird’s New Owners
Boats, like airplanes, seem to take on lives of their own, with unique histories and distinct personalities, at least in the minds of their owners. Boat ownership, for most, has a certain emotional component, with the accompanying highs and lows, bouts of love and hate, joy and sorrow. But you try to keep emotion out of it when you buy a boat (or, for that matter, when you sell it). You make lists of boats, crunch figures, ascribe pros and cons, enlist the help of impartial brokers and surveyors. But the reality is that very few will pull the trigger on such a big purchase unless they like the boat, if notlove it. Windbird wasn’t the cheapest boat we looked at (most certainly not after refit) nor the best equipped, or even the most ideal for the type of cruising we’ll be doing – but we liked her. And worse (from an “impartial buyer” standpoint), we really liked her owners.
I’ll be honest, Windbird wasn’t love at first sight. My first thought when I saw her was that she lookedused. The broker had been frank in my initial discussions with him and so this didn’t come as a surprise, and I tried to look past it knowing that cosmetics are a rather small component of selecting a boat – but I came away from that initial look without a great deal of enthusiasm. And then I started reading Judy Handley’s blog, and the more I read the more I was impressed with what they did with Windbird, and I started to see the real value of many of her features. When I went back to see the boat with Dawn, it was after having read about half of Judy’s circumnavigation logs, and I seemed to see Windbird with different eyes. I was aware that reading the logs were giving me an emotional attachment to the boat – and to Mark & Judy – but I kept reading anyway and pretended that emotion didn’t influence the final decision. It undoubtedly did. Now I look at Windbird, and while I still see the “used” bits (really, the bits that are awaiting our attention), she looks beautiful to me. I imagine her rocking at anchor in exotic landfalls during her circumnavigation, and surfing down greybeards in the December Atlantic with Mark at the helm. I dream of our future life aboard her. Every time I walk away, I turn around to admire her. My “like” is turning into “love.”
As Dawn and I formed this connection with Windbird, we’ve also formed a connection with Mark and Judy that I think is stronger than most owner-buyer relationships. During the negotiation & sales process they struck me as very fair and reasonable people, and I tried to act in kind. I read the rest of Judy’s logs and we started corresponding regularly via email, while Mark and I mostly talked on the phone. I often read new emails and logs to Dawn. Mark and Judy showered us with books, tools, equipment, and advice. We were really looking forward to meeting them and having them down to the boat – the request was actually included with the purchase agreement – but the sale dragged on and we waited longer than we should’ve to put it together, and then Mark’s health took such a downturn that we scuttled the boat plans and decided to travel to Cape Cod instead – but alas, we were too late. Mark’s death hit Dawn and I a lot harder than you’d expect considering that we’d never met the man in person. Nevertheless I felt a real connection there, and knowing he was gone left a really hollow feeling inside – almost like an early preview of losing a parent.
Dawn and I were really honored when Judy invited us to attend the Celebration of Life hosted by New Hampshire Public Radio in Concord, NH, and even moreso when she asked me to read one of Mark’s favorite passages at the event. The timing worked out really well and we flew up from Charleston to Manchester via LGA yesterday morning. We checked in at the Concord Days Inn, which is where Judy met us yesterday afternoon (with another two tubs of tools, books and equipment to bring back!). It was oddly like running into an old friend. She has a personality that immediately sets you at ease – something I later also noticed about her daughter and son-in-law, and several old friends we got to know over dinner. I love that.
The Celebration of Life took place at the Capitol Center for the Arts in downtown Concord and featured a number of speakers who had worked with Mark during his years at NHPR and NPR, both in management and on-air roles (Mark was President & CEO of NHPR for 15 years and also Chairman of the NPR Board of Directors for several years). Most had been sailing with Mark on Windbird or other boats, as he clearly loved sharing his passion for sailing with others and treated his work colleagues like family. As they spoke, I realized that I couldn’t really go up there and read the piece without somehow explaining my connection to Mark as something other than just the guy who bought his boat. So I scribbled out a few sentences about how I’d come to know and admire Mark in the last months of his life and how I continue to discover more about him as I become more intimately familiar with his boat, the physical embodiment of an ambitious lifelong dream that he and Judy actually made come true. Shortly after I was done writing, Heather (Mark & Judy’s daughter) gave a really wonderful, remarkably composed eulogy, and then it was my turn. My speech wasn’t polished and the delivery wasn’t practiced so I basically read it, but I think the audience understood what I was driving at. And then I read this selection, which was James Kavanaugh’s introduction to his 1970 book of poetry “There Are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves.”
Afterward Dawn and I hung around a while talking to Jed and Heather and various friends – including quite a few names that rang a bell from Judy’s blog – and then her friends David and Susan invited us to dinner with them, Judy, and three others at a nice bar and grill a mile or so away. It was a quite enjoyable time with some very smart, friendly people. Our discussion veered strongly into politics for most of the time – which these days is mostly a really cringe-worthy topic for me – but this stayed quite civil if for no other reason than that all of us (Republicans / newly-ex-Republicans included) were sane enough to recognize that Donald Trump is a stark raving lunatic. But we didn’t get to talk to Judy a ton, other than an entertaining discourse on how to best lug a full supply of beer around the world! The evening wrapped up fairly early and we retired to the Days Inn.
We went to breakfast with Judy this morning and had more time for discussion, mostly boat-and-weather-centric (yes, Matthew is still bearing down on us) plus a little more politics. We made plans to have Judy down to the boat once Windbird is back in the water, exchanged hugs, and took a group picture (send a copy, Judy!). It was really special meeting Judy and spending time with her and her family and friends, and Dawn and I were both very happy that we were able to come up to NH for the Celebration. Our flights back down to Charleston went fairly smoothish (ok, if you don’t count the stop in Raleigh-Durham for a medical emergency), but on the drive back to the boatyard we were surprised to see the streets are already almost completely abandoned. A lot of people have already evacuated, and every inland hotel in the state is reportedly full. We’ll do a little more storm prep tomorrow, and then head out of town to visit friends up in Maryland, do the Annapolis Sailboat Show, and attend “Cruiser’s University” next week.
by Judy Handley | Oct 5, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 54: Home Alone
Date: Wednesday, October 5, 2016
Weather: Mix of Sun and Clouds, High of a Chilly 60 degrees F
Location: Back Home at The Studio, Falmouth, MA
On Sunday, it will be one month since we lost Mark. Since then I have been surrounded by love from visiting family—Justin, Jo, Ziggy, and Coco, then Mark’s family, and then my nieces and nephews. We had that glorious day with friends and family out on the water when we sent Mark’s ashes out to sea and last night New Hampshire Public Radio had an absolutely beautiful memorial service to celebrate Mark’s life at the Capitol Center for the Arts in Concord, New Hampshire. And now I am at home alone. But so far, so good. I think I am truly exhausted and need to just sit at home alone and rest for a few days. But having just written the word ‘exhausted’, I must tell you a funny story. Yesterday I got a text from very good friend Detta Porat, aka Pollyanna, checking on how I was doing. She wrote, “I know you have been busy with family and you must be sexhausted.” I read that and howled with laughter knowing that Pollyanna had been deceived by spellcheck. She had typed ‘exhausted’ but an ‘s’ had been added to the front of the word. When Detta realized what she had written, she wrote another text saying that she thought Mark would approve of her new word. That brought another smile. But however you spell it, I must admit that I am tired. My voice is even cracking. Sure hope I’m not getting sick. I don’t think so because I feel fine, but I’m going to go to bed a little earlier tonight and see if that helps
But I can’t sign off and go to bed without writing a little about my day. I had breakfast with Sam and Dawn and we talked boats and weather. They were flying back to Charleston, South Carolina, today to do the last preparation of Windbird before Matthew hits there this weekend. On Monday of this week Windbird was hauled and put on the hard for her refit in Charleston. Unfortunately for Sam and Dawn, that work will be delayed due to this storm. They had hoped to have the boat back in Little River and be living aboard full-time by the end of the month, but that now looks very unlikely. After breakfast, I headed south. I made a stop in Boston and it took much longer than usual as traffic at 11 am in the morning in the city was unbelievably bad. After battling the traffic for over an hour, I traveled on to IKEA. I made the stop there to find a shelf that will fit under the dining room window. I want to put the pots of plants that are on the deck on that shelf to grow things inside during the winter. I found lots of great things, but the shelf I went after was not one of them. I made a final stop at the bank here in Falmouth, and by the time I got home, it was almost 5 o’clock. I drove over to see Heather and congratulate her for doing such a nice job speaking about her father last night and then came home and had a nice long talk with friends Ed and Lynne. Heather, Jed, and the Goldpebbles are headed to Maine this weekend, so I am having them over for dinner tomorrow night so I get to visit with them before they leave. Then on Friday, I really will be home alone. Maybe I’ll sleep for three days!
by Judy Handley | Oct 4, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 53: NHPR Celebration of Life for Mark
Date: Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Weather: Mix of Sun and Clouds; High Temp 64 degrees F
Location: Days Inn, Concord, NH
Thank you, thank you, New Hampshire Public Radio. This evening New Hampshire Public Radio (NHPR) hosted a Celebration of Life in Mark’s honor. It was a beautiful memorial to Mark’s life, both his professional life and his personal life. People who had worked with Mark at NHPR spoke with admiration about how he wove those two lives together. And a friend and colleague from outside of New Hampshire spoke about his outreach on the national level. Friends from public radio, the Concord Yacht Club, and the Concord School District came to pay their respects to Mark. My nieces that live near Boston, Candi and Lynn, came up and Jed’s Aunt Sue and Uncle John who live in Cambridge drove up with their grandson James who sailed south with us last fall. Heather and Jed came and Heather spoke eloquently on behalf of the family. I knew there was no way I could say anything without crying, so I declined. But then everyone who spoke struggled a bit with the tears, so if I had chosen to speak, I would have been in good company. But in addition to the tears, there was also laughter and amazing love. Sam and Dawn Weigel, the new owners of Windbird, flew up for the celebration and Sam read a special piece about people who are searchers. It was so special to meet them and I’m looking forward to having breakfast with them in the morning and talking boats before we all head home. After the celebration, Sue (a good friend from my teaching days) and David Wolowitz took a small group of us out to dinner. They included Sam and Dawn which was very kind of them. It gave me a chance to visit with old friends and time to get to know new friends. Thank you, David and Sue.
After breakfast tomorrow morning, I’ll head home and spend the next few days trying to get a handle on this new life without Mark. He would want me to learn how to do online billpay and he would want me to track my finances in Quicken. It’s definitely going to take me a few days to learn these systems. So I’m just going to sit at the computer until I get it. I’ll also sit with a calendar and start making plans for the future.
by Judy Handley | Oct 3, 2016 | Life After Windbird 2016 |
Life After Windbird, Day 52: Whirlwind Tour of Woods Hole
Date: Monday, October 3, 2016
Weather: Cooler, Overcast with Mist; High 60 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Studio #8, Falmouth, MA
Today as the finale of their visit, I took my visiting nieces and nephews on a whirlwind tour of Woods Hole. One nephew, Rex, had to leave early, but the others didn’t have to leave here until 3 pm. So we decided to use our time to see Woods Hole. I arranged for Jed to give us a tour of the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution’s (WHOI’s) dock behind the Smith Building. This is where the research vessels tie up when they are in port and it is where all sorts of scientific equipment is located. Before the tour with Jed, we visited the WHOI Exhibition Center where we watched a video of white shark attacks on a Remus submersible research unit, walked through the Titanic exhibit, watched the movie about what Alvin finds when it descends to the ocean floor, and played in the mock-up of Alvin. Many of you are probably asking, “What is Alvin?” It is a manned deep-ocean research submersible owned by the US Navy and operated by Woods Hole Oceanographic. It is probably the most well-known manned submersible in the world. I don’t really know how many of these exist, but it is not many. Alvin was first commissioned in the 1960’s. I think it has been updated two or three times and the building and updates happen in the Smith Building in Woods Hole. Originally it could hold only three people, but the newest one launched last year can hold three pilots and two observers. It takes about five hours to descend to the depths and another five hours to ascend. If you figure three or four hours are spent exploring, it means that you are in very close quarters for twelve to fifteen hours. Tommy, Janet, and Jennifer got into the mock-up capsule, but there was no way they could comprehend how people could stay in that confined area for that many hours!
After our tour, Jed and Heather joined us for lunch at the Captain Kidd.
And then it was time for the gang to head to Boston to catch their flights home. It was a wild weekend with late night ‘discussions’. I might be a little tired, but I wouldn’t trade it for all the world. I just love the photo shown here of all of us on the ferry to Charlestown yesterday. I think it is obvious that we were having a great time.
I have been so blessed to have had so many family members here with me for the past three weeks. Tomorrow I head to Concord, New Hampshire, for New Hampshire Public Radio’s Celebration of Life for Mark. To get ready for that, I went over to Bruce and Jane Woodin’s at 5 o’clock to borrow something to wear. Jane had picked out just the right choices, so selecting the ‘just right’ outfit was quick and easy—much easier than shopping in a store. That gave us time to have a glass of wine and visit—much better than shopping in a store! Bruce and Jane are headed to Hawaii for three weeks, so I won’t see them again until November.
I think things are going to get quiet around here when I return from New Hampshire. Heather, Jed, and kids are headed to Maine for the Columbus Day Weekend, so I’ll be all alone for the first time in the past three weeks. But I think that is a good thing. I need to just sit and think about next steps. Who knows what crazy scheme I’ll come up with.
