2022 Life Logs, Day 300: 48 Years Ago Today
Date: Thursday, October 27, 2022
Weather: Sunny and Windy; High 69, Low 44 degrees
Location: At Home in the Cottage, East Falmouth, MA
Forty-eight years ago today, Mark and I were married. I reserve this one day each year since his passing to allow myself to remember how wonderful our life was together and to feel just how lonely my life is without him. I have wonderful friends, a loving family, and a list of things to keep me busy forever. But that doesn’t take away that empty hole in my soul that moved in when Mark died. I’m sitting here drinking a glass of Pouilly-Fuissé, the first wine we ever drank together,
while hearing in my mind the lyrics of Hank Williams Sr’s song, “I’m So Lonesome, I Could Cry.” Tonight, with the slightest sliver of a moon in the sky, the second stanza of that song is most fitting.
I’ve never seen a night so long
And time goes crawling by
The moon just went behind the clouds
To hide its face and cry.
When we first found out that Mark had cancer, in typical Mark style, he was more concerned about me than he was himself. I told him not to worry. I promised him that I would be fine, no matter the outcome. And I am fine. But I sure miss him with all my heart and soul.
I walked with Shadow today and enjoyed the beauty of the changing colors of the leaves. The oak leaves are just starting to turn. They turn a deep scarlet red and then seem to instantly turn brown. But today I enjoyed the green and scarlet leaves.
And I love the mix of bright yellow leaves that look like someone took a paint brush and tipped their edges with bright red paint.
I enjoyed the time outside, but after the walk, I spent the rest of the day inside cleaning house. Not fun, but necessary.
At 3 pm, I stopped that and headed into town to pick up Sam and take him to rowing practice. It was so windy that they didn’t row tonight, but the kids had a great time playing a version of Capture the Flag, Tug-of-War, and various other games on the beach.
And their coach had them take time to pose for a team photo atop the lifeguard stand.
Tomorrow is the last practice until spring, and I know Sam will miss it. But he has an elaborate plan for off season training. He truly loves rowing and has really enjoyed the company of his teammates.
When I dropped Sam off at home, Heather invited me to come in and have a drink and visit. It is rare that she is home as she is usually off taking one of the other boys to soccer practice. But the frenzy of fall practices is easing off and she almost didn’t know what to do with an evening at home. She shared that today was a productive day for her. In addition to a full day of work, she finalized plans for hauling Eider out of the water next Thursday. She went to Town Hall for early voting since she will be in Egypt on Nov 8. And she bought tickets for Revels, our annual celebration of the winter solstice. I really enjoyed out time to talk. Life might be lonely tonight, but life is good.
