2019 Life Logs, Day 8: Never in My Lifetime
Date: Tuesday, January 8, 2019
Weather: Overcast and Rainy; High 46, Low 40 degrees F
Location: At Home in The Cottage, East Falmouth, MA

Never in my lifetime did I ever think that I would live to see our democracy challenged by a foreign nation or by our own President. But I am seeming both of those things happening now. And never in my lifetime, that I have lived as a ‘liberated woman’, did I ever think that more than two years after Mark died that I would still be struggling to get a car title in my name—a car that I co-owned with Mark and then paid off in full right after his death. I have had this same problem with other accounts. Some people tell me the problem was that Mark and I owned everything equally as Mark Handley AND Judy Handley, when it should have been Mark Handley OR Judy Handley. So words do matter. AND and OR do make a difference. I was on the phone for over two hours this morning talking to people at Motor Vehicles and then to people at the bank that held our car loan. When I paid off the car loan after Mark’s death, I received a nicely embossed, clear title in the name of Mark Handley, Judy Handley. I knew I then needed to take that title to Motor Vehicles to get the name changed to just me. I put that off until three months ago. In October, I took the title to Motor Vehicles and they had me fill out a form, give them Mark’s death certificate, pay a fee, and then they took the title and said I would receive one in my name in four weeks. That was October 7th. I called in December and they told me I needed to talk to the bank that had the loan because there is still a lien on the title. I made many calls and had long waits but got no where. So I made my stand this morning. The woman at Motor Vehicles who I am sure hates me, told me the same thing. Her story–The title I gave them doesn’t exist any more and I need to get the bank to do an electronic release stating I paid off the loan. The bank’s story—Yes, I did pay off the loan and was sent a title. What is my problem? After being very assertive, the woman at the bank dug deeper and found that I had paid off the loan on a car with one title number, but now the bank shows that I owe for a car with a different title number. Bottom line, the bank knows I owe nothing and they agreed to do an electronic release for this new title number. Hopefully this will work, but I won’t know for another three weeks. And since there was also an address change processed in October, who knows if I will ever receive anything. Enough of this rant, but I cannot tell you how frustrating this ongoing problem is. No matter how many death certificates I have sent to my own bank, bank documents are still sent to Mark. I’m beginning to think that ‘liberated woman’ thing was just a myth!

I won’t even get started on how frustrated I got tonight listening to the President of the United States use the Oval Office to continue to lie and use scare tactics to try and persuade the American people to support his need for a physical barrier between the United States and Mexico. I don’t know about you, but I certainly do not want a physical barrier (a wall) around the country I live in. I do support border security and I am going to continue to hope that this government shutdown can somehow end tomorrow and that discussions on border security can then continue in order to find a way to support sensible border security. And I find it unbelievable that a Trump campaign fund raising message was sent out right after tonight’s speech. I guess we are living in unbelievable times.

Tomorrow I head to Hyannis to meet with my orthopedic surgeon to discuss the current state of my knee and the knee surgery scheduled for late February. Updates on that tomorrow night.

2019 Life Logs, Day 9: All About the Knee
2019 Life Logs, Day 7: Tennessee to Cape Cod